THE HISTORY OF EMOTIONS AND SENSES

What is my research question?

How has the way that people (Americans specifically) express heartbreak developed over the last 60 years? I intend to tackle this question by analyzing popular breakup songs in the US to trace some sort of history of heartbreak, as music can both mirror and determine the way that people respond emotionally to certain life experiences.

This gives rise to such questions as: Is heartbreak a universal emotional experience that remains unchanged throughout the course of history? Is it determined by the expected emotional response for our gender? How has the intersection of emotional expression and feminism altered the way women interpret heartbreak? And many more.

What are the complexities of this topic?

What exactly is heartbreak? In this project, I define heartbreak as the emotional response to the loss of a love / the end of a relationship. I am not referring to the pain associated with experiences such as: the end of a friendship, the death of a loved one, etc. I rather focus on the emotional expression at the end of a romance (in the way that modern western society has constructed: a monogamous relationship between two individuals that have an emotional and sexual connection).

What is the significance of using popular music? The songs that I will use as sources were the biggest commercial successes that thematically centered around a heartbreak. Because these songs were heard by the highest number of people at the time of their popularity, they gave millions of listeners content to relate to and instructions on how to process their emotions. Their status as blockbuster hits signifies that they were unavoidable for many listeners.

Can music even give us a window into a culture’s emotional expression? While the emotional content of songs does not necessarily represent the experience of every member of a group, success in music signifies that a large audience is able to resonate with the lyrics. However, there are obviously other aspects of songs (the appeal of the singer’s voice, the production, etc.) that contribute to its performance, so the lyrics are one of many reasons why listeners enjoy a song.

Is there significance outside of the lyrics? The songs that I analyze are a mix of genres and tempos: there is rock, pop, country, disco, hip-hop, slow ballads, fast-paced anthems, and everything in between. The style of the production of a song is essential to how it makes listeners feel, but the lyrics serve as a better tool for analyzing the emotional experience that a song encapsulates and how members of a group use language to understand their emotions.

“I Will Always Love You” (1992) Whitney Houston

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #1 on 11/28/1992. 

Summary: Despite the title seemingly referring to an endless love, Whitney sings that she is holding her lover back and must leave them behind, despite that she feels she will love them forever. “Bittersweet memories, That is all I’m taking with me, So good-bye, Please don’t cry.” It is the end of their relationship, but her love will persist. 

“End Of The Road” (1992) Boyz II Men

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #1 on 8/14/1992.

Summary: In this song, the members of Boyz II Men ache over lost love. The first verses are addressed to the former lover, telling her that they belong together and said they would be together forever. In the chorus, the group sings “Although we’ve come to the end of the road, Still I can’t let go,” signifying that they are having a difficult time being without the person. 

“The Sign” (1993) Ace Of Base

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #1 on 3/12/1994.

Summary: The song does not elaborate on what exactly the “sign” was, but the singer proclaims “I saw the sign and it opened up my mind! And I am happy now living without you.” It represents a realization that a significant other no longer makes them happy and choosing to end their relationship. 

“Nobody Knows” (1995) The Tony Rich Project

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #2 on 3/23/1996.

Summary: In this song, Tony Rich sings about the pain he is suffering that “nobody knows” about. He wishes that he was honest about how he felt for the person and regrets not doing enough to ensure the survival of their love. 

“Un-Break My Heart” (1996) Toni Braxton

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #1 on 12/7/1996.

Summary: In begging for her lover to come back, Toni sings that her pain can only be healed by her former lover. She describes the nights without him as “unkind” and her life as “cruel.”

“Foolish Games” (1997) Jewel

Song found here. Lyrics found here.  Chart history: Peaked at #2 on 4/19/1997.

Summary: Jewel sings of the things she used to love about this person: he used to do crazy things like stand out in the rain, dress fashionably but pretend not to care, and had brilliant “philosophies on art.” The verses that tell of the amazing characteristics about this person are juxtaposed with how he is now breaking her heart: “This is my heart bleeding before you, This is me down on my knees.” 

“Foolish” (2002) Ashanti

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #1 on 4/20/2002.

Summary: Ashanti describes leaving a toxic relationship in “Foolish.” She misses her lover when she is without him, but he treats her poorly and the emotional abuse is wearing her down. She hates herself for loving him because she knows he will never change. 

“Burn” (2004) Usher

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #1 on 5/22/2004. 

Summary: In this song, Usher tells himself that is best to leave his relationship behind and “let it burn.” He tells that deep down moving on is the right decision, but the love that he still has for the person is holding him back. By referring to himself as “you,” he is having a conversation with himself.   

“We Belong Together” (2005) Mariah Carey

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #1 on 6/4/2005.

Summary: In this song, Mariah expresses regret for the rude things she said to her former lover and cannot believe that she is alone. She cannot escape her thoughts about the person and believe that they are destined to be together. She sings that “Baby, when you left, I lost a part of me.”

“Irreplaceable” (2006) Beyonce

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #1 on 12/16/2006. 

Summary: Despite the song title, Beyoncé is actually telling her lover how replaceable he is. She tells him to pack his bags and kicks him out of her house because he was unfaithful to her and she knows that she deserves better. 

“Apologize” (2006) Timbaland feat. OneRepublic

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #2 on 11/10/2007.

Summary: In the song, Ryan Tedder sings of being so deeply in love with a person that constantly mistreats him: “You tell me that you need me, then you go and cut me down.” He finally decides to stopforgiving her and refuses to accept her apology, with the chorus telling the person that “It’s too late to apologize.”

“Big Girls Don’t Cry (Personal)” (2007) Fergie

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #1 on 9/8/2007.

Summary: In this song, Fergie sings that she is committing to working on herself, so she must choose to be alone. She is still going to miss her former lover, but she decides that is in her best interest to let him go: “I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket but I’ve got to get a move on with my life.” 

“Need You Now” (2009) Lady Antebellum 

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #2 on 3/20/2010.

Summary: In this country ballad, the Lady Antebellum vocalists miss their former lovers and decide to drunkenly call them late at night: “It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now.” The song is a desperate cry out to a former lover. 

“Love The Way You Lie” (2010) Eminem feat. Rihanna 

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #1 on 7/31/2010. 

Summary: The rap song explicitly details a toxic, abusive relationship that neither party will leave. Rihanna asks her lover, “Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?” She then accepts the mistreatment: “Well, that’s alright because I love the way you lie.” 

“Rolling In The Deep” (2010) Adele

Song found here. Lyrics found here. Chart history: Peaked at #1 on 5/21/2011.

Summary: In this anthem, Adele exclaims that her and her lover “could’ve had it all,” but he ruined their relationship. She warns him of the revenge she plans to pursue: “You’re gonna wish you never had met me.”

Names in bold indicate songwriters that are also the performers of the song:

In looking at the lyrics, it is important to understand who actually wrote these songs. Studies have found that sad music induces pleasant emotions, provides psychological relaxation, and corrects a homeostatic imbalance, s0 record labels can capitalize on this by churning out songs such as these. One could then argue that the emotions experiences expressed in these songs are not genuine. However, the songwriting credits above do not support this claim. Out of these 30 songs, 20 of them give writing credit to the person that sings it. 4 of them are covers. This leaves only 6 songs that were originally given to the artists to record without any of them participating in the writing of its lyrics. Singing another person’s song does not mean that the artist had such an experience, but the majority of singers singing their own words legitimizes the authenticity of their emotional experiences.

One of the best methods to historically analyze emotional expression in language is to examine terms that are repeated. Some specific terms that are used widely across songs provide an insight into a common emotional experience.

Love makes you a “fool”

The word “fool” is not a popular term in modern vernacular. However, the term has become a lyrical archetype for the effect that love can have on people: love for another person makes you think irrationally and make imprudent decisions. The word “fool” carries strong weight: one can say that they their actions were stupid or crazy, but characterizing onself as a fool makes their poor decisions a part of their identity. 

In “I’m Sorry,” Brenda Lee sings, “I’m sorry, so sorry that I was such a fool.” In “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” the Four Seasons sing “Baby I’m a fool.” In “Maggie May,” Rod Stewart sings to his lover, “You made a first-class fool out of me.” In “Foolish Games,” Jewel sings “These foolish games are tearing me apart and your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.” Ashanti sings “so sad, so sad what love will make you do” in a song she decided to title “Foolish.” In “We Belong Together,” Mariah Carey sings, “I was foolish, I was lying to myself.” 

The presence of this term proves that foolishness has been an inherent part of the emotional response to breakups within the time frame I analyzed. Whether they are blaming themselves for treating a lover poorly or staying in a relationship they no longer enjoy, the constant use of the word “fool” communicates that a breakup usually involves someone feeling guilty and remorseful.

Love makes you “blind”

In music, seeing clearly or seeing in 20/20 equates perfect vision to perfect understanding, while blindness is used as a metaphor for clouded judgement. In “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes,” The Platters sing that “They said some day you’ll find all who love are blind.” In “I’m Sorry,” Brenda Lee confesses “But love is blind and I was too blind to see.” In “Maggie May,” Rod Stewart sings “But I’m as blind as a fool can be.” Finally, in “Love Takes Time,” Mariah Carey sings that she “couldn’t see that I was blind to let you go.” The recurrence of this term across many decades shows that another inherent part of the expression of heartbreak in this time frame is feeling as though a relationship distorted the person’s ability to make the right decision. This metaphor that “love is blind” is a proof of another cliché that “hindsight is 20/20,” or that people are not able to analyze a situation objectively until they are removed it. 

“Belonging”

Claiming possession of another person through the term “belong” can have a problematic connotation. In “Every Breath You Take,” in which Sting sings that he will always be watching his lost lover, he sings “can’t you see, you belong to me.” He is basically claiming ownership over this woman. The use of this word actually refers to mutual belonging in other cases, though. Boyz II Men sing in “End of the Road” “you belong to me, I belong to you,” which expresses that the two people have given themselves to each other, metaphorically. That song also uses the phrase “we belong together” and Mariah Carey’s song is titled “We Belong Together,” and this expression does not denote that one person has ownership over the other but rather that the two people are destined to be together. The change of the use of the word “belong” is in sync with an evolving perception of women in the United States, where our mainstream culture deems it politically incorrect for a man to treat a woman as his object. It is more acceptable today to say “you belong with me” than “you belong to me.”

Death

Finally, death is a common way to express a feeling of most extreme pain. In “Cathy’s Clown,” the Everly Brothers sing “I die each time I hear this sound.” In “Nobody Compares 2 U,” Sinead O’Connor sings that “All the flowers that you planted, mama, in the backyard, all died when you went away” In “End of the Road,” Boyz II Men sing, “pain in my head, oh, I’d rather be dead.” Finally, in “Nobody Knows,” Tony Rich sings “I’m dying inside and nobody knows it but me.” Death is the ultimate ending to human life, and it incorporates themes of sadness, grief, darkness, and nothingness. For this reason, it is no surprise that death is a common theme across decades of music. These songs express that losing a lover is emotionally comparable to the lover actually dying or themselves actually dying. 

The Question Mark

The following are questions asked in the songs:

“Don’t you think it’s kind of sad, that you’re treating me so bad? Or don’t you even care?” (“Cathy’s Clown,” The Everly Brothers)

“Do you plan to let me go for the other guy you loved before?” (“Heard it Through the Grapevine,” Marvin Gaye)

“Why did He [God] desert me in my hour of need?” (“Alone Again (Naturally)” Gilbert O’Sullivan)

“I’ll bet you think this song is about you, don’t you?” (“You’re So Vain,” Carly Simon)

“Did you think I’d crumble? Did you think I’d lay down and die?” (“I Will Survive,” Gloria Gaynor)

“Was what I did so wrong, so wrong that you had to leave me alone?” (“Careless Whisper,” WHAM!)

“You just don’t understand how much I love you do you?” (“End of the Road,” Boyz II Men)

“How could a person like me care for you?” (“The Sign,” Ace of Base)

“What I gotta do now to get my shorty back?” (“Burn,” Usher)

“Who else am I gonna lean on when times get rough? Who’s gonna talk to me on the phone ’til the sun comes up? Who’s gonna take your place?” (“We Belong Together,” Mariah Carey)

“Can you call me back?” (“Need You Now,” Lady Antebellum)

“Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?” (“Love the Way You Lie,” Eminem and Rihanna)

Obviously, asking questions is a common device used in songs, but the common thread in these examples is that the singer has unanswered questions they want to ask their former lover, which solidifies the assumption that when two people end a relationship, one of the most constant emotions is confusion.

Assigning a single theme to each song is a very simplistic lens, but it is helpful for tracing the thematic trends of the most successful breakup songs over time. The majority of these songs express the pain of being broken up with, which makes perfect sense. However, the theme that becomes more common as time progresses is what I deemed “the pain of a failed relationship ending.” I distinguished this theme from “the pain being left” because these songs focus more on what each side did: the mistakes each made, the pain inflicted on one another, etc. Therefore, they are less one-sided than a lament over being dumped since they assert blame to both sides. I believe that this provides insight on a possible change in how people express heartbreak. I think that this is a reflection of the two sexes having more equal roles in a relationship as time goes on and therefore being more willing to share the blame.

1. Songs are an effective method for analyzing emotional expression over time, but have limiting factors that must be acknowledged.
2. The commonalities between the songs reveal inherent parts of the emotional reaction to a breakup within this time frame.
3. The subversion of gender stereotypes about emotions in music can break down those stereotypes and lead to more authentic emotional expression.
4. The fact that there was such a tremendous gender gap in who wrote these lyrics was limiting for the research and is a systematic issue in the music industry.
5. There is an upward trend in popular music of women expressing empowerment and individuals taking blame for a failed relationship.